Everything is deemed possible except that which
is impossible in the nature of things." -- California Civil Code, "Object
of a Contract"
The law respects form less than substance."
-- California Civil Code, "Maxims of Jurisprudence"
"That which ought to have been done is to be regarded
as done." -- California Civil Code, "Maxims of Jurisprudence"
That which does not appear to exist is to
be regarded as if it did not exist." -- California Civil Code, "Maxims
of Jurisprudence"
. The law neither does nor requires idle acts."
-- California Civil Code, "Maxims of Jurisprudence"
"The law disregards trifles." -- California
Civil Code, "Maxims of Jurisprudence"
"Contemporaneous exposition is in general the
best." -- California Civil Code, "Maxims of Jurisprudence"
"Superfluity does not vitiate." -- California
Civil Code, "Maxims of Jurisprudence"
"A thing continues to exist as long as is usual
with things of that nature." -- California Civil Code, "Maxims of Jurisprudence"
"'All holy piety in public, and all peeled grapes
and self-indulgence in private.'" -- Terry Pratchett, _Small Gods_
"'He says gods like to see an atheist around.
Gives them something to aim at.'" -- Terry Pratchett, _Small Gods_
"'I must've seen it in a USENET posting;' that's
sort of like hearsay evidence from Richard Nixon..." -- Blair Houghton
"'I'd like to know if I could compare you to a
summer's day. Because -- well, June 12th was quite nice, and...'" -- Terry
Pratchett, _Wyrd Sisters_
"'If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes
like salty butter.'" -- Terry Pratchett, concerning popcorn, _Moving Pictures_
"'Right, you bastards, you're... you're geography.'"
-- Terry Pratchett, _Guards! Guards!_
"'That's right,' he said. 'We're philosophers.
We think, therefore we am.'" -- Terry Pratchett, _Small Gods_
"'Who do you trust?' -- depends on what you've
got to lose." -- mjr
"'Why do you bother with him? He's had thousands
of people killed!'" "'Yes, but perhaps he thought that you wanted it.'"
-- Terry Pratchett
"'You are all a lost generation,' Gertrude Stein
said. We weren't lost. We knew where we were, all right, but we wouldn't
go home." -- James Thurber
"'You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise.
I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.'" -- Terry Pratchett,
_Small Gods_
"'You pay for it before you eat it? What happens
if it's dreadful?' 'That's why.'" -- Terry Pratchett, _Moving Pictures_
"(My favorite version is on bagpipe, but you shouldn't
be led by other people's perversions.)" -- Dani Zweig
"... it is important to realize that any lock
can be picked with a big enough hammer." -- Sun System & Network Admin
manual
"... nothing wrong with Southern California that
a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure." -- Ross Macdonald
"...Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation
is also optional." -- Professor Brian Quinn
"...and always remember the last words of my grandfather,
who said 'A truck!'..." -- Emo Philips
"...only drugs make you feel as good as people
in TV ads appear to be." -- Hakim Bey
"A book of quotations... can never be complete."
-- Robert M. Hamilton
"A book should serve as an axe to the ice inside
us." -- Franz Kafka
"A candour affected is a dagger concealed." --
Marcus Aurelius
"A celibate clergy is an especially good idea,
because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism."
-- Carl Edward Sagan
"A chic type, a rough type, an odd type -- but
never a stereotype." -- Jean-Michel Jarre
"A city is a large community where people are
lonesome together." -- Herbert Prochnow
"A conservative is a man who sits and thinks,
mostly sits." -- Woodrow Wilson
"A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging
loudly and vainly as the train goes by." -- Christopher Morley
"A critic is a man who knows the way but can't
drive the car." -- Kenneth Tynan
"A cult is a religion with no political power."
-- Tom Wolfe
"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything,
and the value of nothing." -- Oscar Wilde
"A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect
can only advise his client to plant vines." -- Frank Lloyd Wright
"A facility for quotation covers the absence of
original thought." -- Dorothy Leigh Sayers
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and
won't change the subject." -- Winston Churchill
"A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly,
science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole
that knows how to read." -- Terry Pratchett, _Guards! Guards!_
"A good programmer is someone who looks both ways
before crossing a one-way street." -- Doug Linder
"A government that is big enough to give you all
you want is big enough to take it all away." -- Barry Goldwater
"A great many people think they are thinking when
they are merely rearranging their prejudices." -- William James
"A halo has to fall only a few inches to become
a noose." -- Farmers Almanac
"A jest often decides matters of importance more
effectively and happily than seriousness." -- Quintus Horatius Flaccus
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide
who has the better lawyer." -- Robert Frost
"A lady is always grateful for a sincere compliment,
so long as you don't try to knock her down with it." -- Mark Twain
"A language is a dialect with an army and a navy."
-- Max Weinreich
"A large section of the intelligentsia seems wholly
devoid of intelligence." -- G. K. Chesterton
"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation."
-- H. H. Munro (Saki)
"A machine is as distinctively and brilliantly
and expressively human as a violin sonata or a theorem in Euclid." -- Gregory
Vlastos
"A man is a success if he gets up in the morning
and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do."
-- Bob Dylan
"A man must properly pay the fiddler. In my case
it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra had to be subsidized." --
John Barrymore
"A paranoid is a man who knows a little of what's
going on." -- William Burroughs
"A promiscuous person is someone who is getting
more sex than you are." -- Victor Lownes
"A room without books is like a body without a
soul." -- Marcus Tullius Cicero
"A school should not be a preparation for life.
A school should be life." -- Elbert Green Hubbard
"A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised
to save a man from the vexation of thinking." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"A strong conviction that something must be done
is the parent of many bad measures." -- Daniel Webster
"A successful tool is one that was used to do
something undreamed of by its author." -- S. C. Johnson
"A thing is not necessarily true because a man
dies for it." -- Oscar Wilde
"A university is what a college becomes when the
faculty loses interest in students." -- John Ciardi
"A witty saying proves nothing." -- Voltaire
"A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands
the same rights as man. An intelligent woman gives up." -- Sidonie Gabrielle
Colette
"A word to the wise is unnecessary." -- La Rouchefoucauld
"AAAAAAAAAAAGH." -- Angie
"Abuse of words has been the great instrument
of sophistry and chicanery, of party, faction, and division of society."
-- John Adams
"Advertising copy. Where sentences are replaced
by participle phrases. Noun phrases. And dangling conjunctions. Bleah."
-- K<bob>
"Advertising is a valuable economic factor because
it is the cheapest way of selling goods, especially if the goods are worthless."
-- Sinclair Lewis
"Advertising may be described as the science of
arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it." -- Stephen
Butler Leacock
"Advertising reaches out to touch the fantasy
part of people's lives. and you know, most people's fantasies are pretty
sad." -- Frederik Pohl
"Against the Word the unstilled world still whirled
About the center of the silent Word." -- T.S. Eliot
"Age is a high price to pay for maturity." --
Tom Stoppard
"Ah! How sweet coffee tastes! Lovelier than a
thousand kisses, sweeter far than muscatel wine! I must have coffee..."
-- J. S. Bach
"Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp
-- or what's a heaven for?" -- Robert Browning
"Ah, the curiosity of youth. On the road to ruin!
May it ever be so adventurous!" -- _Orgy of the Dead_
"All Bibles are man-made." -- Thomas Alva Edison
"All I ask of my body is that it carry around
my head." -- Thomas Alva Edison
"All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and
unlimited power." -- Ashleigh Brilliant
"All children are morbid. It is their one saving
grace." -- Truman Capote
"All dogmas perish the thinking mind, especially
ones you agree with." -- Adam Richardson
"All great truths begin as blasphemies." -- George
Bernard Shaw
"All movements go too far." -- Bertrand Russell
"All progress is based upon the universal innate
desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income." -- Samuel
Butler
"All that is human must retrograde if it do not
advance." -- Edward Gibbon
"Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the
imitation of those whom we cannot resemble." -- Samuel Johnson
"Aluminum was once a precious metal." -- Jules
Verne
"America has been discovered before, but it has
always been hushed up." -- Oscar Wilde
"America is a large friendly dog in a small room.
Every time it wags its tail it knocks over a chair." -- Arnold Toynbee
"America is the only country that went from barbarism
to decadence without civilization in between." -- Oscar Wilde
"America wasn't founded so that we could all be
better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damn well please."
-- P.J. O'Rourke
"Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada,
while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States."
-- J. Bartlett Brebner
"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find
no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them
make me laugh." -- W. H. Auden
"An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly
considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered." -- G.
K. Chesterton
"An artist is a creature driven by demons. He
don't usually know why they chose him and he's usually too busy to wonder
why." -- William Faulkner
"An intellectual is someone whose mind watches
itself." -- Albert Camus
"An unimaginable evil is a dangerous thing, and
a great deal of it is merely good manners."
"An unimaginable toy is useful for breaking other
toys. And your little dog, too!"
"Anarchism is founded on the observation that
since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough
to rule others." -- Edward Abbey
"And if you give us any more trouble, I shall
visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress." -- Basil
Fawlty
"And it came to pass that in the hands of the
ignorant, the words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords."
-- Alan Wilson Watts
"And that's the world in a nutshell, an appropriate
receptacle." -- Stan Dunn
"And the heat goes on...where the hand has been."
-- Byrne/Eno
"And what can a poor boy do?" -- Rolling Stones
"Andrew is so incredibly reliable that almost
any printing command will work, as long as it is long and complex enough..."
-- Nathaniel Borenstein
"Any body of men who believe in hell will persecute
whenever they have the power." -- Joseph M. McCabe
"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain
-- and most fools do." -- Dale Carnegie
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day
living that wears you out." -- Chekhov
"Any movement in history which attempts to perpetuate
itself, becomes reactionary." -- Josip Broz Tito
"Any synopsis of a good book is a stupid synopsis."
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
"Anybody can be good in the country. There are
no temptations there." -- Oscar Wilde
"Anybody who thinks of going to bed before 12
o'clock is a scoundrel." -- Samuel Johnson
"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it
isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment." -- Robert Benchley
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from
a lack of imagination." -- Oscar Wilde
"Applause is the spur of noble minds, the end
and aim of weak ones." -- Charles Caleb Colton
"Architecture in general is frozen music." --
Friedrich von Schelling
"Art is either plagiarism or revolution." -- Paul
Guaguin
"Art should never try to be popular. The public
should try to make itself artistic." -- Oscar Wilde
"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line
somewhere." -- G.K. Chesterton
"Artificial intelligences make mistakes too, only
faster." -- Larry Wall
"As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass
for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense."
-- Jonathan Swift
"As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they
that have the least wit are the greatest blabbers." -- Plato
"As soon as questions of will or decision or reason
or choice of action arise, human science is at a loss." -- Noam Chomsky
"Assassination is the extreme form of censorship."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"At the core of all well-founded belief, lies
belief that is unfounded." -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
"Bad law is more likely to be supplemented than
repealed." -- Dalin B. Oaks
"Be regular and orderly in your life, that you
may be violent and original in your work." -- Clive Barker
"Be wiser than other people if you can; but do
not tell them so." -- Lord Chesterfield
"Become who you are." -- Nietzshe
"Belief in God? An afterlife? I believe in rock:
this apodictic rock beneath my feet." -- Edward Abbey
"Belief in the supernatural reflects a failure
of the imagination." -- Edward Abbey
"Belief is not the beginning but the end of all
knowledge." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest
fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!"
-- Nietzsche
"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt
those who find it." -- Andre Gide
"Better to write for yourself and have no public,
than to write for the public and have no self." -- Cyril Connolly
"Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes." -- Henry David Thoreau
"Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only
proved it correct, not tried it." -- Donald E. Knuth
"Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker
on this planet." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy
is the same." -- Oscar Wilde
"Bigmac's brother was reliably believed to be
in the job of moving video recorders around in an informal way." -- Terry
Pratchett
"Blaming 'society' makes it awfully easy for a
person of weak character to shrug off his own responsibility for his actions."
-- Stanley Schmidt
"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving words in evidence of the fact." -- George Elliot
"Books aren't written to be believed in, but to
be questioned." -- Umberto Eco
"Bore: a man who is never unintentionally rude."
-- Oscar Wilde
"Brevity is the soul of lingerie." -- Dorothy
Parker
"Bring the little ones unto me, and I will get
a good price for them." -- Dr. Fegg's Encyclopeadia of _All_ World Knowledge
"But that's what being an artist _is_ -- feeling
crummy before everyone else feels crummy." -- The New Yorker
"By appreciation, we make excellence in others
our own property." -- Voltaire
"By definition, a government has no conscience.
Sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more." -- Albert Camus
"By doing just a little every day, I can gradually
let the task completely overwhelm me." -- Ashleigh Brilliant
"Capital letters were always the best way of dealing
with things you didn't have a good answer to." -- Douglas Adams
"Cat food?!? I thought it was love, but I wouldn't
want to keep on eating!"
"Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew
what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right."
-- Terry Pratchett
"Censorship, like charity, should begin at home,
but unlike charity, it should end there." -- Clare Boothe Luce
"Chance favors only the prepared mind." -- Louis
Pasteur
"Change is inevitable in a progressive country.
Change is constant." -- Benjamin Disraeli
"Channeling is just bad ventriloquism. You use
another voice, but people can see your lips moving." -- Penn Jillette
"Chaos is the score upon which reality is written."
-- Henry Miller
"Chaos often breeds life when order breeds habit."
-- Henry Brooks Adams
"Chastity always takes its toll. In some it produces
pimples; in others, sex laws." -- Karl Kraus
"Children are like TV sets. When they start acting
weird, whack them across the eyes with a big rubber basketball shoe." --
Hunter S. Thompson
"Children should neither be seen nor heard from
-- ever again." -- W. C. Fields
"Christianity makes suffering contagious." --
Friedrich Nietzsche
"Civilization is a limitless multiplication of
unnecessary necessities." -- Mark Twain
"Civilization is a movement, not a condition;
it is a voyage, not a harbor." -- Arnold Joseph Toynbee
"Civilization is just a temporary failure of entropy."
-- Christine Nelson
"Civilization is the art of living in towns of
such size that everyone does not know everyone else." -- Julian Jaynes
"Civilization is the distance man has placed between
himself and his excreta." -- Brian Aldiss
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little
or no influence on society." -- Mark Twain
"College isn't the place to go for ideas." --
Hellen Keller
"Colleges are places where pebbles are polished
and diamonds are dimmed." -- R.S. Ingersoll
"Colonies do not cease to be colonies because
they are independent." -- Benjamin Disraeli
"Come to think of it, there are already a million
monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare."
-- Blair Houghton
"Commandment Number One of any truly civilized
society is this: Let people be different." -- David Grayson
"Common sense is that layer of prejudices which
we acquire before we are sixteen." -- Albert Einstein
"Communication across the revolutionary divide
is inevitably partial." -- Thomas S. Kuhn
"Communism is like one big phone company." --
Lenny Bruce
"Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses,
is in the eye of the beholder." -- Dr. Laurence Peter and Raymond Hull
"Conceptions without experience are void; experience
without conceptions is blind." -- Albert Einstein
"Confession is good for the soul only in the sense
that a tweed coat is good for dandruff -- it is a palliative rather than
a remedy." -- Peter De Vries
"Confusion is a word we have invented for an order
which is not understood." -- Henry Miller
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody
is looking." -- H. L. Mencken
"Conscience...is merely instinct socialized into
guilt." -- Robert Coover
"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth
than lies." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Correct English is the slang of prigs who write
history and essays. And the strongest slang of all is the slang of poets."
-- George Eliot
"Crash programs fail because they are based on
the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month."
-- Wernher von Braun
"Cream rises to the top. So does fat." -- Kelvin
Throop III
"Creative minds have always been known to survive
any kind of bad training." -- Anna Freud
"Cross country skiing is great if you live in
a small country." -- Steven Wright
"Culture is the arts elevated to a set of beliefs."
-- Tom Wolfe
"Curiosity is the very basis of education and
if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly."
-- Arnold Edinborough
"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine,
which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis." -- Jack Handy
"Damn all expurgated books; the dirtiest book
of all is the expurgated book." -- Walt Whitman
"Dare to be naive." -- Richard Buckminster Fuller
"Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward;
they may be beaten, but they may start a winning game." -- Goethe
"Death comes along like a gas bill one can't pay."
-- Anthony Burgess
"Defined in psychological terms, a fanatic is
a man who consciously overcompensates a secret doubt." -- Aldous Huxley
"Deleted code has fewer bugs." -- Xibo
"Democracy is a form of government that substitutes
election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." --
George Bernard Shaw
"Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate
you dislike least." -- Robert Byrne
"Democracy is the art of running the circus from
the monkey cage." -- H. L. Mencken
"Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they
dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry." -- Winston Churchill
"Dinner theater is anti-culture." -- John Simon
"Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty.
The obedient must be slaves." -- Henry David Thoreau
"Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate
life." -- Bertolt Brecht
"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
Love is the law, love under will." -- Aleister Crowley
"Do you know about the Eleventh Commandment? It
says, 'Thou shalt not bore God, or he will destroy your universe.'" --
John Lilly
"Do you love any, do you love none, do you love
many, can you love one, Do you love me?" -- Suzanne Vega
"Doctor, we did good, didn't we?" "Perhaps. Time
will tell. Always does." -- Ace and The Doctor
"Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it
is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing." --
Dick Brandon
"Documentation is the castor oil of programming.
Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much."
-- Anonymous
"Don't be so humble, you're not that great." --
Golda Meir
"Don't confuse the water with the pump." -- Tom
Wolfe
"Don't join the book burners. Don't think you
are going to conceal thoughts by concealing evidence that they ever existed."
-- Dwight David Eisenhower
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty
is absurd." -- Voltaire
"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said
nothing." -- Mark Twain
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to
be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." -- William Dement
"Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice
to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it." -- William Somerset
Maugham
"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious."
-- William Feather
"Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment
for economists." -- John Kenneth Galbraith
"Education is a method whereby one acquires a
higher grade of prejudices." -- Laurence J. Peter
"Education is a weapon, whose effect depends on
who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed." -- Joseph Stalin
"Education is an admirable thing, but it is well
to remember that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." -- Oscar
Wilde
"Education...has produced a vast population able
to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading." -- George Macaulay
Trevelyan
"Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature
to relieve the pain of being a damned fool." -- Bellamy Brooks
"Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped."
-- Groucho Marx
"Enlightened people seldom or never possess a
sense of responsibility." -- George Orwell
"Europe was created by history. America was created
by philosophy." -- Margaret Thatcher
"Every age and generation must be as free to act
for itself, in all cases, as the ages and generations which preceeded it."
-- Thomas Paine
"Every great advance in natural knowledge has
involved the absolute rejection of authority." -- Thomas Henry Huxley
"Every law is an infraction of liberty." -- Jeremy
Bentham
"Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of
a second person, hypocrisy begins." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to
spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats."
-- H. L. Mencken
"Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind
only the slime of a new bureaucracy." -- Franz Kafka
"Every time I try to define a perfectly stable
person, I am appalled by the dullness of that person." -- J. D. Griffin
"Everybody experiences far more than he understands.
Yet it is experience, rather than understanding, that influences behavior."
-- Marshall McLuhan
"Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects."
-- Will Rogers
"Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person good
night." -- Andy Warhol
"Everyone complains of his memory, but no one
complains of his judgement." -- Duc De La Rochefoucauld
"Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes
a great deal worse." -- Miguel De Cervantes
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no
one thinks of changing himself." -- Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
"Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want
to be Cary Grant." -- Cary Grant
"Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the
self, is nuts." -- Leo Calvin Rosten
"Everything has a boolean value, if you stand
far enough away from it." -- Galena Alyson Canada
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the
time." -- Steven Wright
"Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents
moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit." -- W. Somerset
Maugham
"Excuse me. This life isn't working. I want to
exchange it." "Have you tried plugging it in?"
"Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after
a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what's wrong with it."
-- Anonymous
"Experience is not what happens to you, it is
what you do with what happens to you." -- Aldous Huxley
"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables
you recognize a mistake when you make it again." -- Franklin P. Jones
"External reality is sort of an affectation of
the nervous system." -- Jaron Lanier
"Faith is often the boast of the man who is too
lazy to investigate." -- F.M. Knowles
"Faith: not *wanting* to know what is true." --
Friedrich Nietzsche
"Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the
only earthly certainty is oblivion." -- Mark Twain
"Fame is proof that people are gullible." -- Ralph
Waldo Emerson
"Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts
when you have forgotten your aim." -- George Santayana
"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible
monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin
of marvels." -- Goya
"Fascism in America will attempt to advance under
the banner of Americanism and anti-Fascism." -- Georgi Dimitrov
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable
that we have to alter it every six months." -- Oscar Wilde
"Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers."
-- Robert Hummel
"Fear is the parent of cruelty." -- James Anthony
Froude
"Few people can be happy unless they hate some
other person, nation, or creed." -- Bertrand Russell
"Finishing a book is just like you took a child
out in the back yard and shot it." -- Truman Capote
"First things first, but not necessarily in that
order." -- The Doctor
"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane
mind." -- Terry Pratchett, _Reaper Man_
"Fools admire, but men of sense approve." -- Alexander
Pope
"For NASA, space is still a high priority." --
Dan Quayle
"For a successful technology, reality must take
precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." -- Richard
P. Feynman
"For every problem, there is one solution which
is simple, neat and wrong." -- H. L. Mencken
"For every prohibition you create you also create
an underground." -- Jello Biafra
"For every vision there is an equal and opposite
revision." -- Kelvin Throop III
"For flavor, instant sex will never supercede
the stuff you have to peel and cook." -- Quentin Crisp
"For forms of government, let fools contest...
what e're's best administered, is best." -- Alexander Pope
"For non-deterministic read 'Inhabited by pixies.'"
-- Anonymous
"For the last time, I'm not male! I'm HUMAN!"
-- Curt Siffert
"For what a man would like to to be true, that
he more readily believes." -- Francis Bacon
"For what is liberty but the unhampered translation
of will into act?" -- Dante Alighieri
"Forgive him, for he believes that the customs
of his tribe are the laws of nature!" -- George Bernard Shaw
"France was a long despotism tempered by epigrams."
-- Thomas Carlyle
"Freedom comes from human beings, rather than
from laws and institutions." -- Clarence Seward Darrow
"Freedom is just chaos with better lighting."
-- Alan Dean Foster
"Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government
thinks itself secure." -- Bertrand Russell
"Freedom of the press is limited to those who
own one." -- Abbott Joseph Liebling
"Freedom's just another world for nothing left
to lose." -- Janis Joplin
"From fanaticism to barbarism is only one step."
-- Denis Diderot
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity
is not thus handicapped." -- Elbert Green Hubbard
"Get your facts first; then you can distort them
as you please." -- Mark Twain
"Getting out of bed in the morning is an act of
false confidence." -- Jules Feiffer
"Give me four years to teach the children and
the seed I have sown will never be uprooted." -- Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
"Given the choice between the experience of pain
and nothing, I would choose pain." -- William Faulkner
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
-- Napoleon Bonaparte
"Go ahead and do it, it is easier to apologize
than to get permission." -- Admiral Grace Hopper
"God created sex. Priests created marriage." --
Voltaire
"God created the world out of nothing, but the
nothingness still shows through." -- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard
"God is a comic playing to an audience that's
afraid to laugh." -- Voltaire
"God is dead, but fifty thousand social workers
have risen to take his place." -- J. D. McCoughey
"Goldilocks is about property rights. Little Red
Riding Hood is a tale of seduction, rape, murder, and cannibalism." --
Bernard J. Hibbits
"Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game
within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort." -- Stephen
Leacock
"Good art is not what it looks like, but what
it does to us." -- Roy Adzak
"Good men must not obey the laws too well." --
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Government should be concerned with anti-social
conduct, not with utterances." -- Justice William Orville Douglas
"Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off."
-- Terry Pratchett, _Small Gods_
"Great art is a irrational as great music. It
is mad with its own loveliness." -- George Jean Nathan
"Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings."
-- C. D. Jackson
"Grief can take care of itself; but to get the
full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with." -- Mark
Twain
"Grief knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness
ever can; and common sufferings are far stronger links than common joys."
-- Alphonse de Lamartine
"Grown men do not need leaders." -- Edward Abbey
"Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the
authority turned." -- Terry Pratchett, _Small Gods_
"Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half." -- Gore
Vidal
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city." -- George Burns
"Happiness is not something you experience, it's
something you remember." -- Oscar Levant
"Happiness is the interval between periods of
unhappiness." -- Don Marquis
"Happiness is the longing for repetition." --
Kundera
"Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime?
Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good." -- P. G. Wodehouse
"Hatred is gained as much by good works as by
evil." -- Niccolo Machiavelli
"Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number
of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything."
-- Sydney Smith
"Have you ever dated someone because you were
too lazy to commit suicide?" -- Judy Tenuta
"He felt that his whole life was some kind of
dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying
it." -- Douglas Adams
"He hadn't a single redeeming vice." -- Oscar
Wilde
"He is one of those peple who would be enormously
improved by death." -- H. H. Munro
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he
who does not ask remains a fool forever." -- Old Chinese saying
"He who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence."
-- William Blake
"He who has never hoped can never despair." --
George Bernard Shaw
"He who knows only his own side of the case, knows
little of that." -- John Stuart Mill
"He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news."
-- Bertolt Brecht
"He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot
is a fool; and he who dares not, is a slave." -- William Drummond
"He'd never realized that, deep down inside, what
he really wanted to do was make things go splat." -- Terry Pratchett, _Reaper
Man_
"He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy
highly developed." -- H.H. Munro
"Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned."
-- Milton Friedman
"Hell is other people." -- Jean-Paul Sartre
"Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought."
-- Graham Greene
"His hair was perfect." -- Warren Zevon
"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write
it." -- Winston Churchill
"Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake
each other for movie stars." -- Fred Allen
"Hollywood is a place where they place you under
contract instead of under observation." -- Walter Winchell
"Hope is the lease of submission." -- Raoul Vaneigem
"How can one conceive of a one party system in
a country that has over 200 varieties of cheese?" -- Charles de Gaulle
"However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity
in my traditional manner...sulking and nausea." -- Tom K. Ryan
"Human folly does not impede the turning of the
stars." -- Tom Robbins, _Skinny Legs and All_
"Human history becomes more and more a race between
education and catastrophe." -- Herbert George Wells
"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively
maladjusted." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Humanity either makes, or breeds, or tolerates
all its afflictions." -- Herbert George Wells
"Humankind cannot stand very much reality." --
T. S. Eliot
"Humility is no substitute for a good personality."
-- Fran Lebowitz
"Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse."
-- W. S. Gilbert
"I am a fan of automation // And I never carry
cash." -- Engines of Aggression
"I am always sorry when any language is lost,
because languages are the pedigrees of nations." -- Samuel Johnson
"I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what
many ignorant men are sure of." -- Clarence Darrow
"I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac
in a petrified forest." -- A. Whitney Brown
"I am not part of the problem; I am a Republican."
-- Dan Quayle
"I am the only person in the world I should like
to know thoroughly." -- Oscar Wilde
"I am the winter of your discontent. I am a pithed
frog. OK, I can do without the rock-n-roll."
"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature." --
Frank Lloyd Wright
"I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people
were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars." -- Abbie
Hoffman
"I believe that genius is an infinite capacity
for taking life by the scruff of the neck." -- Christopher Quill
"I call that a scumhead." -- James Joyce
"I came from a disadvantaged home. They were Republicans."
-- Paul Tsongas
"I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised
all the time." -- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
"I cannot live without books." -- Thomas Jefferson
"I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain
just to eat leaves!" -- Michael Rivero
"I didn't even know what to do about it is to
lose a mind. Or not to have to paint it."
"I didn't think; I experimented." -- Wilhelm Roentgen
"I didn't understand this at first, but YOUR CONVINCING
USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS HAS MADE IT ALL CLEAR TO ME." -- J. Nairn
"I do not believe in the collective wisdom of
individual ignorance." -- Thomas Carlyle
"I do not believe the expenditure of $2.50 for
a book entitles the purchaser to the personal friendship of the author."
-- Evelyn Waugh
"I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming
feature." -- Thomas Jefferson
"I don't believe in psychology. I believe in good
moves." -- Bobby Fischer
"I don't care who does the electing as long as
I get to do the nominating." -- Boss Tweed
"I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire
the problem." -- Ashleigh Brilliant
"I don't have to choose, nyaah, nyaaah, nah nyaah
nyaah." -- Sandra Hereld
"I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I
enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again." -- Bart Simpson
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening
enough." -- M. C. Escher
"I either want less corruption, or more chance
to participate in it." -- Ashleigh Brilliant
"I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free."
-- Nikos Kazantzakis
"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." --
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence,
or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." -- Hunter S.
Thompson
"I hate to see things done by halves. If it be
right, do it boldly; if it be wrong, leave it undone." -- Bernard Gilpin
"I have always imagined that Paradise will be
a kind of library." -- Jorge Luis Borges
"I have found some of the best reasons I ever
had for remaining at the bottom simply by looking at the men at the top."
-- Frank Moore Colby
"I have found you an argument: but I am not obliged
to find you an understanding." -- Samuel Johnson
"I have my wedding to prepare, my wife to murder,
and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped." -- Prince Humperdink, _Princess
Bride_
"I have never found, in a long experience of politics,
that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance." -- Harold Macmillan
"I have never seen anything fill up a vacuum so
fast and still suck." -- Rob Pike, commenting on The X Window System
"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions
-- but I don't always agree with them." -- George Herbert Walker Bush
"I just need enough to tide me over until I need
more." -- Bill Hoest
"I know but one freedom, and that is the freedom
of the mind." -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"I know that poetry is indispensable, but to what
I could not say." -- Jean Cocteau
"I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness
seem classy." -- Bern Williams
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards
who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg
"I love acting. It is so much more real than life."
-- Oscar Wilde
"I love children, especially when they cry, for
then someone takes them away." -- Nancy Mitford
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound
they make as they fly by." -- Douglas Adams
"I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me
are excellent." -- Ashleigh Brilliant
"I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent
engagement." -- Oscar Wilde
"I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very
clever ones." -- The Doctor
"I never resist temptation, because I have found
that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." -- George Bernard Shaw
"I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll
doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.'" -- Oscar Levant
"I personally think we developed language because
of our deep need to complain." -- Lily Tomlin
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you
and education." -- Wilson Mizner
"I said I _liked_ being half-educated; you were
so much more _surprised_ at everything when you were ignorant." -- Gerald
Durrell
"I saw a sign: 'Rest Area 25 Miles.' That's pretty
big. Some people must be really tired." -- Steven Wright
"I see music as the augmentation of a split second
of time." -- Erin Cleary
"I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat
overestimated his ability." -- Oscar Wilde
"I support comp.lang.awk for a few reasons: [...]
It is very satisfying to be able to disagree with Tim Pierce." -- Janet
Rosenbaum
"I swear, if you existed I'd divorce you." --
Edward Albee
"I think it would be totally inappropriate for
me to even contemplate what I am thinking about." -- Don Mazankowski
"I think of life as a good book. The further you
get into it, the more it begins to make sense." -- Harold S. Kushner
"I think people snore because they don't have
anything else to do while they're naked."
"I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated
his ability." -- Oscar Wilde
"I think you should defend to the death their
right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." --
Woody Allen, on the KKK
"I understand your question and the answer is
'You're thinking too hard.'" -- Jose Garcia
"I used to be disgusted; now I try to be amused."
-- Elvis Costello
"I used to look down on the world for being corrupt,
but now I adore it for the utter magnificence of that corruption." -- Richard
J. Needham
"I want to know the truth, however perverted that
may sound." -- Stephen Wolfram
"I was not lying. I said things that later on
seemed to be untrue." -- Richard Nixon
"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast
at any time.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance." -- Steven
Wright
"I went to all that work to get him out of his
shell, and he really *was* a spineless mollusc!" -- Dame Enid Aurelia
"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for
everyone, but they've always worked for me." -- Hunter S. Thompson
"I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a
good waitress." -- Jane Siberry
"I'd rather be rich than stupid." -- Jack Handy
"I'll take Fucking Clues for $200." -- Mark
"I'm a Leo. Leos don't believe in this astrology
stuff." -- Tom Neff
"I'm a genetic mutant." -- Dan Aykroyd
"I'm a nymphomaniac of the heart." -- Gabriel
Garcia Marquez
"I'm a squid, I'm a born lever puller."
"I'm interested in the fact that the less secure
a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice." -- Clint Eastwood
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may
almost be said to be living apart." -- e. e. cummings
"I'm not a breast man. I'm a breast *person*."
-- jwh
"I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of
them." -- Alfred Hitchcock
"I'm the one that has to die when it's time for
me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to." -- Jimi Hendrix
"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being
only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?"
-- Jean Kerr
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers
done." -- Steven Wright
"I've always wanted to be Brigitte Bardot." --
Bob Dylan
"I've imagined great victories, and I've imagined
great races. The races are better." -- Mark Helprin
"Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's
distance from the problem." -- John Galsworthy
"Ideally, you should be your own hero, just as
I am mine." -- Bargepole
"If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good
enough for them Mexicans." -- Some politician in Texas
"If I didn't have writing, I'd be running down
the street hurling grenades in people's faces." -- Paul Fussell
"If a book is worth reading, it is worth buying."
-- John Ruskin
"If all else fails, immortality can always be
assured by spectacular error." -- John Kenneth Galbraith
"If all men knew what others say of them, there
would not be four friends in the world." -- Blaise Pascal
"If art is to nourish the roots of our culture,
society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes
him." -- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
"If at first you don't succeed, failure may be
your thing." -- Warren Miller
"If everything seems under control, you're just
not going fast enough." -- Mario Andretti
"If little else, the brain is an educational toy."
-- Tom Robbins
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would
improve man but deteriorate the cat." -- Mark Twain
"If people are good only because they fear punishment,
and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed." -- Albert Einstein
"If there were a verb meaning 'to believe falsely,'
it would not have any significant first person, present indicative." --
Ludwig Wittgenstein
"If we spoke a different language, we would perceive
a somewhat different world." -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
"If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy
doing it badly." -- Ashleigh Brilliant
"If you do not think about the future, you cannot
have one." -- John Galsworthy
"If you don't know who you are by now, you have
no business trying to dominate Europe." -- Eric McColm
"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten
lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone." -- Jack Handey
"If you flattened out Wales, it would be bigger
than killing everybody."
"If you speak the truth, have a foot in the stirrup."
-- Turkish proverb
"If you want me, you can find me, left of center,
off of the strip." -- Suzanne Vega
"If you want to know what god thinks of money,
just look at the people he gave it to." -- Dorothy Parker
"If you wish to appear agreeable in society, you
must consent to be taught many things which you know already." -- Johann
Kaspar Lavater
"If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your
first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you."
-- Jack Handy
"If you're going to do something wrong, at least
enjoy it." -- Leo Rosten
"If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest
to others, they would no longer be fantasies." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against
reality." -- Jules de Gaultier
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him
for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is." --
Francis Bacon
"Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at
once the world becomes explicable." -- Henry Louis Mencken
"Imminent Death of the Net Predicted. GIFs at
11." -- Carl Rigney
"In America sex is an obsession; in other parts
of the world it is a fact." -- Marlene Dietrich
"In America, through pressure of conformity, there
is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from." -- Peter Alexander Ustinov
"In California everyone goes to a therapist, is
a therapist, or is a therapist going to a therapist." -- Truman Capote
"In Christianity neither morality nor religion
come into contact with reality at any point." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
"In Cyberspace, the 1st Amendment is a local ordinance."
-- John Perry Barlow
"In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs
should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt." -- Blair P.
Houghton
"In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise
to his level of incompetence." -- Laurence Johnston Peter
"In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward
mobile." -- Hunter S. Thompson
"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then
to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."
-- Bertrand Russell
"In each of us are places where we have never
gone. Only by pressing the limits do you ever find them." -- Dr. Joyce
Brothers
"In every work of genius we recognize our own
rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"In matters of conscience, the law of majority
has no place." -- Mahatma Gandhi
"In my music, I'm trying to play the truth of
what I am. The reason it's difficult is because I'm changing all the time."
-- Charles Mingus
"In nature, there are neither rewards or punishments
-- there are consequences." -- Robert Green Ingersoll
"In order to become the master, the politician
poses as the servant." -- Charles De Gaulle
"In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded."
-- Terry Pratchett, _Lords and Ladies_
"In the U.S. you have to be a deviant or exist
in extreme boredom...Make no mistake; all intellectuals are deviants in
the U.S." -- William Burroughs
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This
has made a lot of people very angry, and is generally considered to have
been a bad move." -- D. Adams
"In the fight between you and the world, back
the world." -- Frank Zappa
"In the future everyone will be world-famous for
fifteen minutes." -- Andy Warhol
"In times like these, it helps to recall that
there have always been times like these." -- Paul Harvey
"Indifference is isolation. In difference is texture
and wonder." -- Edwin Schlossberg
"Innovation is hard to schedule." -- Dan Fylstra
"Inquiry is fatal to certainty." -- Will Durant
"Instead of worrying about my clothes, I could
be someone that nobody knows." -- Stewart Copeland
"Intellectual brilliance is no guarentee against
being dead wrong." -- David Fasold
"Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent
them." -- Einstein
"Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless
that for some people it is a complete substitute for life." -- Andrew Brown
"Irony is the hygiene of the mind." -- Elizabeth
Bibesco
"Irrationally held truths may be more harmful
than reasoned errors." -- Thomas Henry Huxley
"Is not life a hundred times too short for us
to bore ourselves?" -- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation
to which the filing system has been lost?" -- Quentin Crisp
"Is there life before death?" -- Belfast Graffito
"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles
to San Francisco live there?" -- Herb Caen
"It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there
are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."
-- Thomas Jefferson
"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of
your calculations, if you live near him." -- J. R. R. Tolkien
"It has yet to be proven that intelligence has
any survival value." -- Arthur C. Clarke
"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal
education." -- Albert Einstein
"It is a sobering thought, for example, that when
Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years." -- Tom Lehrer
"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.
People are either charming or tedious." -- Oscar Wilde
"It is always the best policy to tell the truth,
unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar." -- Jerome K. Jerome
"It is better of course to know useless things
than to know nothing." -- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."
-- Tom Stoppard
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear
stupid than to open it and remove all doubt." -- Mark Twain
"It is better to prevent crimes than to punish
them." -- Cesare Bonesana di Beccaria
"It is clear that thought is not free if the profession
of certain opinions makes it impossible to earn a living." -- Bertrand
Russell
"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which
the established authorities are wrong." -- Voltaire
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are
also stupid." -- George Bernard Shaw
"It is easier to fight for principles than to
live up to them." -- Alfred Adler
"It is far more impressive when others discover
your good qualities without your help." -- Miss Manners (Judith Martin)
"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers
are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets."
-- Voltaire
"It is impossible to begin to learn that which
one thinks one already knows." -- Epictetus
"It is much easier to be critical than to be correct."
-- Benjamin Disraeli
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what
others say in a whole book." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
"It is no longer my moral duty as a human being
to achieve an integrated and unitary set of explanations for my thoughts
and feelings." -- Bronwyn Davies
"It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail."
-- Gore Vidal
"It is not the answer that enlightens, but the
question." -- Eugene Ionesco
"It is one of the superstitions of the human mind
to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue." -- Voltaire
"It is only the great men who are truly obscene.
If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be
great." -- Havelock Ellis
"It is sometimes expedient to forget who we are."
-- Publilius Syrus
"It is the confession, not the priest, that gives
us absolution." -- Oscar Wilde
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able
to entertain a thought without accepting it." -- Aristotle
"It is true greatness to have in one the frailty
of a man and the security of a god." -- Seneca
"It is well to remember that the entire population
of the universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." --
John Andrew Holmes
"It is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone
to believe anything upon insufficient evidence." -- W.K. Clifford
"It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be
happy. It's only necessary to be rich." -- Alan Alda
"It was better, he thought, to fail in attempting
exquisite things than to succeed in the department of the utterly contemptible."
-- Arthur Machen
"It's Hong Kong action. Anything you know about
physics is just going to hold you back." -- Robin D. Laws
"It's a scientific fact that if you stay in California
you lose one point of your IQ every year." -- Truman Capote
"It's amazing what ordinary people can do if they
set out without preconceived notions." -- Charles F. Kettering
"It's easier to fight for one's principles than
to live up to them." -- Fred Adler
"It's good to know that if I behave strangely
enough, society will take full responsibility for me." -- Ashleigh Brilliant
"It's impossible to experience one's death objectively
and still carry a tune." -- Woody Allen
"It's interesting to live when you are angry."
-- Yevgeny Yevtushenko
"It's not peace I want, not mere contentment.
It's boundless joy and ecstasy for me." -- Kugell
"Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age
he would have repudiated his doctrine." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't
understand." -- Homer Simpson
"Just goes to show you. You can kill a guy, fold
him up, stuff him in your trunk, and still you don't *really* know him."
-- The Kids in the Hall
"Justice is incidental to law and order." -- J.
Edgar Hoover
"K is for KENGHIS KHAN. _He_ was a very _nice_
person. History has no record of him. There is a moral in that, somewhere."
-- Harlan Ellison
"Kids! Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous.
Do not attempt it in your home." -- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman,
_Good Omens_
"Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject
ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it." -- Samuel Johnson
"Language is a city to the building of which every
human being brought a stone." -- Mark Twain
"Language is a virus from outer space." -- William
S. Burroughs
"Language shapes the way we think, and determines
what we can think about." -- Benjamin Whorf
"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the
human face." -- Victor Hugo
"Laws are made for us; we are not made for the
laws." -- William Milonoff
"Laws don't work, unless they merely codify generally
accepted behavior, in which case they are probably unnecessary." -- tom@genie.slhs.udel.edu
"Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance
of the law is not punished." -- Jeremy Bentham
"Learning is not compulsory. Neither is survival."
-- W. Edwards Deming
"Legend -- a lie that has attained the dignity
of age." -- H. L. Mencken
"Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for
a sage." -- anonymous
"Let us be thankful for the fools; but for them
the rest of us could not succeed." -- Mark Twain
"Let us overthrow the totems, break the taboos.
Or better, let us consider them cancelled. Coldly, let us be intelligent."
-- Pierre Trudeau
"Let us treat men and women well; treat them as
if they were real; perhaps they are." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most
men dread it." -- George Bernard Shaw
"Life at the top is financially rewarding, spiritually
draining, physically exhausting, and short." -- Peter C. Newman
"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw
all the paint on it you can." -- Danny Kaye
"Life is a zoo in a jungle." -- Peter De Vries
"Life is either always a tight-rope or a featherbed.
Give me a tight-rope." -- Edith Wharton
"Life is like an overlong drama through which
we sit being nagged by the vague memories of having read the reviews."
-- John Updike
"Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck,
a good physique and not too much imagination." -- Christopher Isherwood
"Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal
rather than the victim." -- Bertrand Russell
"Life is something to do when you can't get to
sleep." -- Fran Lebowitz
"Life's too short for chess." -- H. J. Byron
"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and
squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast."
-- Douglas Adams
"Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for
truth." -- Jean-Paul Sartre
"Like its politicians and its wars, society has
the teenagers it deserves." -- J. B. Priestley
"Logic is like the sword: those who appeal to
it shall perish by it." -- Samuel Butler
"Look, man, all I am is a trumpet player." --
Miles Davis
"Love is a hole in the heart." -- Ben Hecht
"Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and
calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense." -- Mark A. Overby
"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."
-- Henry Louis Mencken
"Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than
lying to others." -- Fyodor Dostoevsky
"Machines take me by surprise with great frequency."
-- Alan Turing
"Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child
-- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender."
-- W. C. Fields
"Making fun of born-again christians is like hunting
dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope." -- P.J. O'Rourke
"Man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the
mercy of the puddles in the road." -- Alexander Smith
"Man has made use of his intelligence; he invented
stupidity." -- Remy De Gourmant
"Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that
idea is not quite clear to him." -- Paul Eldridge
"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly
terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." -- Samuel
Butler