Bumper Snickers
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on
tape somewhere!
Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally.
The OFFICIAL bumper snicker of the 1996 Olympics!
BEWARE - Bumper snicker Thief in this echo
Bumper snicker line thievery ... On the next
Geraldo!
"Could you continue your petty bickering?
I find it most intriguing."
Reality-ometer: [\........] Hmmph! Thought
so...
Fun, fun, fun, 'til her daddy takes her Blue
Wave away!
Go straight to the docs. Do not pass GO. Do
not collect $200!
Don't hit me, Mr. Moderator... I'll go back
on topic... I swear!
Answers: $1, Short: $5, Correct: $25, dumb
looks are still free.
Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded!
I know a good bumper snicker when I steal
one.
This bumper snicker is SHAREWARE! To register,
send me $10
We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.
Do what you will with this bumper snicker,
just don't bother me about it!
A feature is a bug with seniority.
ebius bumper snicker. This is a moebius bumper
snicker. This is a mo ...
I'd rather ride the Wave than wallow in QWKsand!
Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG
or so.
Back up my hard disk? I can't find the reverse
switch!
"Yield to temptation, it may not pass your
way again." - L. Long
Documentation - The worst part of programming.
Not tonight, dear. I have a modem.
"42? 7 and a half million years and all you
can come up with is 42?!"
Two most common elements in the universe:
Hydrogen & Stupidity.
He who dies with the most BUMPER SNICKERS
wins!
Line noise provided by Koninklijke PTT Nederland!
RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure!
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...
If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI,
PASAL and OBOL!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all
evidence that you tried.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
But soft, what light through yonder bumper
snicker breaks?
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your
bumper snickers!
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk
drawer.
"Milhouse, we live in the age of cooties!"
- Bart Simpson
MONEY TALKS ... but all mine ever says is
GOODBYE!
Bumper snicker fever is the primary symptom
of the Blue Wave epidemic!!
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
File not found, I'll load something *I* think
is interesting.
New Mail not found. Start whine-pout sequence?
(Y/N)
Ho, hum.
Press any key to start formatting the hard
disk.
I woke up in a Soho doorway...a policeman
knew my name..!
General Brain Failure. (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore,
(O)h.
Shell to DOS...come in, DOS...do you read...over?
He's got a magnet!!! Everybody BACKUP!!!!!!!!
I only play with my computer on days that
end in "Y."
But I thought YOU did the backups...
I love it when a plan comes together!
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this
floppy?
Aargh.. Weer zo'n hoge telefoon re$%#GFDÍÐ
NO CARRIER
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell
and run! Death hates that.
Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter much
since nobody listens.
I@love~my$computer,;It's%made in Taiwa~##$
` #@
#@$ffwe99fjaljk ... Hey! Get the cat off the
keyboard!
You're twisted and sick; I like that in a
person!
Never return a kindness---pass it on!
Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is
cheaper.
I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem.
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
Benji! Don't run out onto the road! %$(#&
NO TERRIER
I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting
Hoarse.
Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.
Hey, whats that beeping noise? Wheres that
smoke coming from?
Wie het laatst lacht, heeft de mop niet goed
begrepen
De langzaamste caissiere staat altijd achter
de snelkassa
Keyboard not connected, press F13 to continue
I must be a sex object. I say Sex? She objects.
When encryption devices are outlawed, only
EE39#PQOUDKE51275KK&!JKDXBP
FATAL ERROR! SYSTEM HALTED! - Press any key
to do nothing...
One on-topic post a day keeps the moderator
at bay
Illiterate? Write for free help.
Hell ain't a bad place, Hell is from here
to Eternity
My other computer is even slower.
If you can't be good, be careful
Realy get stoned, drink wet cement.
Reality.Sys corrupted -- Reboot Universe (Y/N)?
Soon in a computer shop near you: EDLIN for
Windows!
OS/2? What's that? Half of an Operating System?
Vervelend ... dat ie het niet doet drukt u
eens op ALT CTRL DEL...
No, I'm not an elitist. Why do you ask, peasant?
"How to Boil Water, in 500 easy steps" by
Chuck Forsberg.
You never finish a program, you just stop
working on it.
Now available: Windows for Windows!
Ifyoucanreadthisyouspendtoomuchtimefiguringoutbumper
snickers.
Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
The Borg assimilated my cat...He doesn't act
any differently.
Turn your 486 into a gameboy, type OS2 at
the C:\ prompt.
Ik ga voor Edah!!!
This bumper snicker will spread out the BlueWave-virus
JESUS SAVES, passes to Moses, he shoots. It's
good! He scores!
Null modems were created when God got no handshake.
What's so great about humans anyway?
586, 32Mb 40ns RAM, 4Gb 2ms HD. Now Windows
will beat DOS!
A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.
If life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila
and salt!
Kom jij es ff dichtbij je schermpje, dan zal
ik je ff instralen !
Er komen steeds meer pyromanen. Ze steken
elkaar zeker aan...
We all live in a yellow subroutine...
"Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't
anything." - Charlie Brown
Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers!
FILES=1 BUFFERS=0 FCBS=SAYWHAT BREAK=GIMME
I've seen more battles lost than I have battles
won.
Error 763 - Hard disk not ready, close door.
--------------Police Bumper snicker---Do Not
Cross--------------
And, the driver compresses EVERYTHING, just
not EXE & COM.
* <- Tribble (*) <-- Tribble with shields
up
You can call me "All", but I like "Al" better
Ithinkmyspacebarstoppedworking.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights
make a left
Why does the person that snores always fall
asleep first?
Multitasking: Reading in the bathroom.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Windows is a colorful clown suit for DOS.
I couldn't possibly be wrong. I use an error
correcting modem!
DEL *.* does WHAT?
Anything worth doing, is worth getting someone
else to do.
Enne... mocht er iets mis gaan, ^&*!@^#*(*&$!&&
NO CARRIER
Error 99 - CPU too tired to continue...
I want everything; do you have it??
Everything in time is birth to some and death
to others.
UFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't
exist.
My poor mouse only has one ball.
The light at the end of the tunnel is the
light of an oncoming train.
Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF
Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error
correcting!
I know my mind. And it's around here someplace.
I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and people
like me.
The government solution to a problem is usually
as bad as the problem.
Don't eat yellow snow!
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From
a catalog!
Toen de man voor het vuurpeloton stond, schoot
hem wat te binnen.
The electric chair choice: Regular or Extra
Crispy
)!)@(#*$&%^, but also {<]#.(,@##, and
what did you think of !!$#&@)$^#...
The most expensive component always breaks
first.
Mouse not found. Driver not installed. Click
to continue.
One person's error is another person's data.
Any of you seen a modem carrier around here?
I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when
I walked.
H y! Wh r did my " " k y go?
Don't just stand there...KNEEL!!
Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under
Windows!
Wat er ook gebeurt, doe steeds alsof het de
bedoeling was.....
Windows 95.....96....97...98..99...Klaar
Friend: someone who likes you even after they
know you.
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
I've got a Mickey Mouse PC with a Goofy operating
system.
BBS: a method to triple your phone bill.
If you can count your money you don't have
a billion dollars.
The body of a dead enemy always smells sweet.
Windows would look better with curtains.
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
Renegade Bumper snicker!! We're tired of Being
Kidnapped!!! REBEL!!!!!
.....Yomanda verliest het van mijn Higscreen!
[*]^[*]
Who needs a virus when we've got OS/2...?
DisneyLand: A people trap operated by a mouse.
As easy as 1, 2, 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only
a
...Humor?... Laat me niet lachen!......
My dog thinks he's human.. My cat thinks he's
GOD!
bad Command Or File Name !!! Go Stand In The
Corner...
I wish I could remember where I parked my
hard disk.
ESCOM - Extreem Slecht & Curieus Opgebouwde
Machines
There's a reason why there's no "OS" in Windows...
Intergalactic interference dropped my carrier.
How can you be so deaf with ears like that?
- McCoy
Krasse, Krasse, Krasse
Got kleptomania? Take something for it!
WindowError:01F Reserved for future mistakes.
911...... Press 1 if your house is on fire.....
Press 2 if.....
Windows isn't a virus... Viruses do something...
Dit niet verder vertelen hoor.
All that matters is great pizza!
Danger! It's me! Danger! Off-topic messages!
Danger!
Stolen bumper snicker recovered! Thieves still
at large.
We will get along fine as soon as you realize
that I'm God
Get in touch with normal people. Leave us
alone.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Fatal mouse error. (B)ury or (R)eplace?
insert FLIPPO in drive A: and press any key!
This bumper snickers has OLE capabilities:
double click here [X]
Sniff, Sniff... Do I smell smoke???
I'm immortal. I'm bored. Let's party.
Have a nice day - unless you've made other
plans.
Avoid hangovers: Stay drunken.
Silence: Vangelis unplugged
Is this thing on?
Ik heb net een Apple aan een ei verkocht.....
Time flies when you are having mail.
*NO CARRIER* -- A Naval Aviator's worst nightmare!
Ik ben lid van de verenging tot integratie
van homosexuele aardbeien.
Is er ook een afkickcentrum voor mailjunks?
WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted. System
confused.
Niemand krijgt geld van mijn, tenminste niet
gemakkelijk
Sector not found... Did you look under the
sofa?
"Moet ik de floppys inpakken?" - Nee,Dank
U, 'k eet ze gelijk op...
Wie een modem heeft, heeft slechts nog on-line
vrienden...
Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
Always smile. It makes people wonder what
you're up to.
Out of Paper...Exit Toilet (Y/N)?
Money is the root of all evil. Send $30 for
more info.
There were computers in Biblical times. Eve
had an Apple.
Nobody notices when things go right.
This ship will selfdestruct in 5 minutes...
Have a nice day! (Pandora)
All colours will agree in the dark.
Happiness is a BIG hard drive!
I can't diet for medical reasons, it makes
me HUNGRY!
Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
Wife to sleeping spouse: "Wake up! Who the
hell is Tina!!?"Marcel de Reuver:
MS-math:486 + win95 = 286
"Bother!", said Pooh as he pulled a tribble
out of his hunny pot.
"Bother!", said Pooh as he opened his America
Online bill.
* <--- Tribble
@*@ <--- The offspring of a tribble and
Ross Perot.
"Have you got a better idea? I'm all ears."
- Ross Perot
"Captain! I protest, I am NOT a merryman."
- Worf
96.7% of all statistics are made up.
!!!teG I sdrawkcaB eroM ehT oG I sdrawroF
eroM ehT
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill
Gates, 1981
"Call it a hunch." -- Quasimodo
"Data, I thought you were dead!" "No, sir,
I rebooted"
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."
- Tom Jones
"I'll be Bach." - Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger
"Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition."
"Tell me what you think, Captain, I'm all
ears" - Spock
(A)bort, (R)etry or (G)et a stick and kill
it.
--==**> Real Programmers Practice Safe HEX
<**==--
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's
Pentiun.
1st we shoot all the lawyers, 2nd we strangle
them, 3rd..
24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.
Hmmmm.....
4 am? Already? Oh no, not again!!
4 food groups: fast, frozen, microwaved, and
junk.
9 out of 10 men who try Camels prefer women
A friend: someone who likes you even after
they know you.
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two
weeks ago.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Always smile. It makes people wonder what
you're up to.
Apple (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
Aural Sex produces eargasms
Backup aborted: Please remove disk #192 and
start over.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Behind every succesfull man is woman with
nothing to wear
Breast size multiplied by IQ always equals
69
C program run, C program crash, C programmer
cry.
Clones are people two.
Definition of Terror: A female Klingon with
PMS.
Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
Don't drink and drive - Smoke dope and fly
home.
Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it.
Don't take life so seriously. It won't last.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one
will suffice.
Dos: Venerable. Windows: Vulnerable. OS/2:
Viable
Experience: What you get when you don't get
what you want
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their
names.
Friends don't let friends use Windows.
Get the facts first - you can distort them
later!
God is love... Love is blind... Ray Charles
is God!
Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere!
HAL 9000: "Dave. Put down those Windows disks.
Dave. DAVE!"
Handwritten on a condom machine; "This gum
tastes funny"
Hard work never killed anyone, but why take
a risk?
Hardware (n): The part of the computer that
can be kicked.
He is Buy-sexual, he has to pay for it.
He who hesitates too long, must change his
underwear.
He's alive, Jim. Should I shoot him again?
He's got a magnet!!! Everybody BACKUP!!!!!!!!
I AM serious. And stop calling me Shirley.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I to±d yo±, "Never±touch
±he flo±py di±k su±face!
I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing.
I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
I'm miserable without you, it's like having
you here.
I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't
met...
I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere...
I'm the best there is, but I'm not available.
I'm the person your mother warned you about...
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers
done.
I've seen better conversations in alphabet
soup.
If IBMs have Bugs, Do APPLES have Worms?
If Windows is User-Friendly, why do you need
to read a 672 pages manual?
If at first you don't succeed, call it Ver
1.0
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all
evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is
not for you.
If cows could fly, everyone would carry an
umbrella.
If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI,
PASAL, LIPPER and OBOL!
Invisible Systems Inc. - If you don't see,
we made it!
It is easier to admire hard work if you don't
do it.
Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we
keep.
Keyboard not found. Press any key to continue
LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer
Luke! Use the mouse Luke. (Obi Wan Gates)
MicroSoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in
terms.
Minds are like parachutes, they only work
when open.
Multitasking: Reading in the bathroom
My girlfriend said I never listen to her,
or something...
Nothing beats Windows, it keeps loading and
loading and loading...
Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed
up.
Nothing is wrong with you that reincarnation
can't cure.
OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to be eccentric.
OPERATOR ERROR: Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah!
OS/2? I can't even do ONE thing at once.
OUT TO LUNCH - If not back at five, OUT TO
DINNER!
Oh Lord, give me patience. But give me RIGHT
NOW!
Optimist: Someone who doesn't know all the
facts yet.
RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory.
Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone
else.
SMURFS X LEMMINGS = The fight of the year
Since she won't live forever, why give her
a diamond?
Some Do, Some Don't, Some Will and Some Won't.
Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
Speak softly and carry a two-handed sword.
Star Trek XXVII - The Search for Shatner's
Teeth.
Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame
someone else.
The Anal Intruder. Soon in a Theater BEHIND
You!
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
There are 3 kinds of lies: lies, damned lies
& statistics
Time slows if you're on the outside of the
bathroom door.
To all virgins: Thanks for nothing
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
Use the Force, Luke... but not Windows
User - a technical term used by computer pros.
See idiot.
User not Found. (S)mile, (L)augh, (T)hank
God?
Uses OS/2 Warp, DOS and Windows! And PROUD
of it!
We all live in an yellow subroutine
We come in peace. Shoot to kill.
We do what we can but it's never enough.
Wedding: A funeral where you smell your own
flowers.
Whatever you delete today, you desperately
need tomorrow.
When you kill a bug, ten more come for the
funeral.
Why are apartments so close together?
Windows 3.1: from the people that brought
you EDLIN!!
Windows 3.1: the best $99 solitare game I've
ever seen!
Windows Error: 001 - Windows loaded. System
in danger.
Windows Error: 002 - No error yet ...
Windows Error: 003 - Operator fell asleep
while waiting.
Windows Error: 004 - Erroneous error. Nothing
wrong.
Windows Error: 010 - Reserved for future mistakes
Windows v47.4 - We **FINALLY** got it right!!!
Windows... Just say no!
Windows... just another pain in the glass
...
Windows:(n.)1. Something that comes with the
mouse you bought.
Windows:(n.)2. The Gates of hell.
Windows:(n.)3. The solution to a problem that
didn't exist before
Windows:(n.)4. Proof that God has a sense
of humor.
Work is for those who have nothing better
to do.
You can close your eyes to reality but not
to memories.
Your statement fully describes the situation
partially.
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